This weekend in my city, members of the queer community were gunned down at the local nightclub Club Q. As of today, five are dead, and 17 remain in the hospital with gunshot wounds. A local Army Veteran apprehended the gunman while at a drag show with his family. In the New York Times Article, he was quoted as saying, “I just went into combat mode . . . I just know I have to kill this guy before he kills us.”https://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/21/us/colorado-springs-shooting-club-q-hero.html?fbclid=IwAR0X1NsFu8isEVbnUYrcrwRoJLE4rS0XpK6TNAgTYL2FpaNi18exNyoSPT0
According to the Gun Violence Archive, there have been 604 mass shootings in the United States in 2022. https://www.gunviolencearchive.org Since the incident Saturday night, the Gun Violence Archive sites 149 other shootings in America—All in less than 48 hours of the killings at Club Q.
I’m a counselor with a focus on trauma and grief. In my experience and through my training, I’ve learned, witnessed, counseled, comforted, and shared how trauma sticks with us—forever altering how we perceive the world. I usually ask all of my clients, even if their therapy goals address other issues like anxiety or ADHD, to complete a trauma checklist. Even my youngest pre-adolescent clients will answer yes to at least one of the items on the Life Events Checklist (LEC-5). It separates trauma into three tiers: Primary, things that happen to you; Secondary, something that you witness; Tertiary, something that you learn about. On some level, we are all exposed to trauma in this nation.
The more exposure one has to a particular trauma, the more deeply it becomes part of their identity. Basel A. Van der Kolk, M.D. discusses how the body remembers trauma in his book The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. “Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.” (p.97)”
The queer community is a vulnerable population in America. They often have experienced childhood trauma as part of their development. They tend to score high on the ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences).
I find my queer clients often have trauma built on top of trauma. A safe, secure, supportive network is vital to all of us. But especially for LGBTQIA+.
Traumatic wounds are healed through connection, love, and understanding—by sharing in our humanity. We need to find a sense of safety in our everyday lives. Having allies and understanding communities make all the difference. The Army veteran that confronted the gunman is an Ally. I am honored to call myself one, as some of my best friends are part of the queer community. My practice supports clients from every dynamic of the community. Massive heartache ripples amongst all of us as we grapple with this senseless violence, shattering our sense of safety. I am heartbroken for my friends, my clients, their loved ones, and all those affected by this violence. I am heartbroken that my city is another example of this nation of trauma.
Please take a minute to complete the LEC-5 and learn about ACEs. Please support your local Queer Communities. We all deserve to safely share our stories and have them heard.
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