Motherhood came to me early in life by today’s standards. After birthing my first child prematurely when I was 20, I made every decision with someone else in mind. I wondered if my youth was over.
I was pregnant with my daughter when I learned the female maturation stages referred to as maiden, mother, and crone. For any Game of Thrones fan, this might have a familiar ring.
There isn’t a particular act that defines a maiden, mother, or crone phase. Instead, they are seasons with inherent lessons embedded in each archetype. The transition is not linear, but rather a spiral that circles back on itself, allowing us to revisit the stages we have not fully understood or completed.
It is the seasons of life, not just about youth, children, and aging. This sentiment is personally beneficial, for it allows me to borrow wisdom I have not yet earned from my crone/wise older friends, and it enables me to reembody youthfulness with my maiden/playful younger companions.
In neopaganism, the phases also describe the moon cycles.
The waxing moon represents the maiden: enchantment, inception, expansion, the promise of new beginnings, birth, youth, and youthful enthusiasm.
The full moon signifies the mother: ripeness, fertility, sexuality, fulfillment, stability, power, and life.
The waning moon embodies the crone: wisdom, repose, death, and endings.
Have you been told you’re an “old soul”? Or how many of you are like my mama, “29 and holding”? All the stages live within us, at every point during this mortal timeline. And can’t they be felt by all—male or female, childless or with child?
Psychology addresses life stages. Carl Jung was the master of archetypes and wrote about the female trinity and the lessons of change. But Erik Erikson is one of my favorites. Erikson outlined virtues for each developmental stage. If a specific step is not completed, we seek to revisit particular life experiences and their essential lessons. (The new interpretation of Erikson’s stages suggests fluctuation in the age ranges —let’s face it; adulthood does NOT start at 18.) Erikson postulated dysfunction emerged when someone progressed to a new stage without obtaining the virtue from the prior one. Some theories state missing a virtue traps an individual at that place of development. I.e., not finding competency during primary school years may result in an “inferiority” complex.
Stage Psychosocial Crisis Basic Virtue Age
1. Trust vs. Mistrust Hope 0 - 1½
2. Autonomy vs. Shame Will 1½ - 3
3. Initiative vs. Guilt Purpose 3 - 5
4. Industry vs. Inferiority Competency 5 - 12
5. Identity vs. Role Confusion Fidelity 12 - 18
6. Intimacy vs. Isolation Love 18 - 40
7. Generativity vs. Stagnation Care 40 - 65
8. Ego Integrity vs. Despair Wisdom
These theories were the inspiration for my novels in the Maiden, Mother, and Crone series. The first novel MAIDEN SCARS outlines aspects of maidenhood. Renna, an orphan and street wretch, ekes out a life shelling cotton. She hopes to turn servitude into independence. Like most maidens, her life is a series of chance encounters. Her virginity and innocence are in high demand, and she barely escapes nefarious pursuers’ plans. In MOTHER’S TEARS—she experiences motherhood with wonder and terror. In A CRONE’S VOW—she steps solidly into her worldly wisdom, guided by the generations that came before her. Renna’s tale could be anyone’s. I utilize maiden, mother, and crone and Erikson’s developmental stages to guide Renna’s evolution.
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